If your ex-spouse died and you are still listed as the beneficiary, you may well be entitled to the money. Two things decide it: whether the account is an employer plan governed by federal law, and whether your state has a statute that cancels a former spouse's designation the moment a divorce becomes final. Employer 401(k)s, pensions, and group life insurance usually pay whoever is on the form, divorce or not. An individually purchased life insurance policy is the one most likely to be taken away from you by state law.

That split surprises almost everyone, including the family members who assume the divorce settled the question years ago. Below is how each type of account actually behaves, and what to do next whether you are the person named on the form or the executor trying to sort it out.

Three questions decide whether you get paid

1. What kind of account is it? Employer-sponsored plans, individually owned policies, and federal employee benefits each follow a different rulebook.
2. Which state's law applies, and does that state revoke former-spouse designations automatically? Roughly half the states do, and the rest leave the form alone.
3. Did your divorce decree say anything about the designation? A decree that required your ex to keep you named changes the answer, sometimes completely.

Nothing here is legal advice. If real money is at stake, a probate attorney or an ERISA attorney is worth the consultation, especially where two people are claiming the same benefit.

Employer plans: the paperwork usually wins

A 401(k), a 403(b) at a private employer, a traditional pension, an ESOP, and employer group life insurance are all governed by ERISA, the federal law that regulates workplace benefits. ERISA tells the plan administrator to pay according to the plan documents, and the Supreme Court has enforced that instruction twice in ways that matter here.

In Egelhoff v. Egelhoff (2001), the Court struck down a state law that would have cancelled a former spouse's designation on an employer life insurance policy and pension. Federal law preempted it, and the ex-wife kept the money. In Kennedy v. Plan Administrator for DuPont (2009), the Court went further: an ex-wife who had signed away her interest in the plan as part of the divorce was still paid, because the beneficiary form on file had never been changed. The plan administrator followed the documents, which is exactly what ERISA required.

So if your ex-spouse never submitted a new form, the plan will very likely pay you.

One large exception. If your ex-spouse remarried, the new spouse has her own federal right to a qualified retirement plan. ERISA makes the surviving spouse the default beneficiary of a 401(k) or pension unless that spouse signed a written waiver. A stale form naming an ex-spouse generally loses to a current spouse who never consented. This rule covers retirement plans, not employer group life insurance, which pays the named beneficiary either way. For more on those group policies, see our guide to claiming employer life insurance.

Individually owned life insurance: state law can erase you

A policy your ex bought directly from an insurer, with no employer involved, is a state-law contract. About half the states have a revocation-on-divorce statute, most of them modeled on section 2-804 of the Uniform Probate Code. In those states, a final divorce decree automatically strips a former spouse out of any revocable designation. That reach is broad: life insurance, payable-on-death bank accounts, transfer-on-death securities registrations, and revocable living trusts.

When the statute applies, the money drops to the contingent beneficiary. If there is no contingent beneficiary, it usually goes to the estate and gets distributed through the will or state intestacy law.

Two details people get wrong:

• It takes a final decree. A separation, a filed petition, or a pending case generally does not trigger the statute.
• A statute passed after the policy was bought can still apply. In Sveen v. Melin (2018), the Supreme Court upheld Minnesota's revocation statute against a policy purchased before the law existed.

And in the states with no such statute, the form stands. Your ex's designation stays valid until he or she files a change with the insurer. Our post on life insurance beneficiary rules covers how those designations work generally.

One more wrinkle worth checking: if your ex named you again after the divorce was final, that is a fresh voluntary designation and the revocation statute does not touch it.

IRAs and POD accounts sit in the middle

A traditional or Roth IRA held at a bank or brokerage is not an employer plan, so ERISA preemption does not shield the designation. State revocation statutes can reach it, and the custodial agreement matters too. The same is true of payable-on-death bank accounts and transfer-on-death brokerage registrations, which carry their own set of problems covered in our post on POD and TOD pitfalls.

Separately, if your divorce split a retirement plan through a qualified domestic relations order, that is a different and stronger claim. A QDRO makes you an alternate payee with rights that do not depend on any beneficiary form.

Federal employee and military benefits follow their own rules

Federal benefits are governed by federal statutes that override state law almost entirely.

• FEGLI (federal employee group life) pays the person on the designation form. In Hillman v. Maretta (2013), the Supreme Court held that a widow could not use state law to recover the proceeds from the decedent's ex-wife, who had stayed on the form. A divorce does not revoke a FEGLI designation. The one path around it: a certified copy of a court order expressly awarding the FEGLI proceeds, filed with the employing office before the death.
• SGLI (military group life) works the same way. Ridgway v. Ridgway (1981) upheld a service member's designation over a state court order.
• TSP pays whoever is on the most recent Form TSP-3, and a divorce decree does not revoke it on its own.
• FERS and CSRS survivor annuities can be awarded to a former spouse by court order, which is a separate right from any designation.

Our FEGLI and SGLI claim guide walks through the filing steps.

When the decree required you to stay named

Plenty of divorce settlements require one spouse to keep life insurance in place naming the other, usually to secure alimony or child support. Sometimes it shows up as an irrevocable beneficiary designation on the policy itself.

If that describes your situation, you are in a much stronger position. Revocation-on-divorce statutes carry exceptions for a contrary court order or contract, and an irrevocable designation cannot be changed unilaterally at all. Find your decree and the property settlement agreement before you contact the insurer, and send the relevant pages with your claim.

What the estate or a new spouse can do about it

Competing claims stall payment. Once an insurer or plan gets a letter from a second claimant, the file typically goes to a legal review, and the company may file an interpleader action that hands the money to a court to sort out. Expect months instead of weeks.

Kennedy also left one question open on purpose. The Court declined to decide whether an estate can sue a former spouse to recover ERISA plan money after it has been paid out, based on a waiver in the divorce decree. State and federal courts have split on it since. That means an ex-spouse who collects a 401(k) despite signing a waiver is not always safe from a later claim.

If you are the executor

An unchanged beneficiary form is one of the most common surprises in estate settlement, and you will not find it by reading the will. Beneficiary designations pass outside probate entirely, which is why the inventory has to come first.

• Pull every account statement and policy you can find, then request the current beneficiary designation for each one in writing.
• Do not distribute anything until you know which assets are designation-controlled and which flow through the estate.
• Where a designation looks wrong, get the divorce decree in front of an attorney before the insurer pays.

Sunset helps families here in a practical way. We run asset discovery across banks, brokerages, insurers, and retirement plans to surface accounts nobody knew about, prepare the probate paperwork for your county, open an FDIC-insured estate account so estate money never mixes with your own, and handle the transfers and account closures once the court signs off. We have worked with more than 10,000 families, and it is free for families to use.

Frequently asked questions

Does a divorce automatically remove my ex as my life insurance beneficiary?

Sometimes. About half the states revoke a former spouse's designation automatically when the divorce becomes final, and most states also void a former spouse's gifts under a will. But state revocation laws do not apply to employer plans covered by ERISA or to federal benefits like FEGLI and TSP. The only reliable fix is filing a new beneficiary form with each company.

Does a divorce decree override a beneficiary form?

Usually not, by itself. In Kennedy v. Plan Administrator for DuPont, an ex-spouse who waived her interest in the divorce was still paid because the form on file named her. A decree can create rights you enforce in court later, but the plan or insurer pays based on its own records.

Can my ex's family stop the insurance company from paying me?

They can slow it down. A competing claim usually triggers a legal review or an interpleader lawsuit, and the money sits until it is resolved. If the designation holds up under the applicable law, you get paid at the end of that process.

What happens if there is no contingent beneficiary?

If a state statute revokes your designation and no backup beneficiary is named, the proceeds generally go to the decedent's estate and get distributed under the will or, with no will, under state intestacy rules.

Can I get Social Security survivor benefits from an ex-spouse who died?

Possibly, and it has nothing to do with beneficiary forms. A surviving divorced spouse can qualify if the marriage lasted at least 10 years and other conditions are met. See our guide to Social Security after a death.

How long do I have to file a claim?

Insurers do not usually impose a hard deadline on death benefit claims, but waiting creates problems: records get archived, companies merge, and unclaimed benefits eventually get turned over to the state. File as soon as you have a certified death certificate.

Getting the answer for your situation

Start by identifying what kind of account you are named on, because that single fact points you at the right rulebook. Then request the current designation in writing and pull out your divorce decree. Those two documents answer most of these cases.

If you are the one settling the estate, Sunset can find the accounts, prepare the court paperwork, open the estate account, and move the money where it belongs. See how Sunset works.